FIGURING OUT YOUR BIG ROCKS

Figuring out what are big rocks in your life is important in one's development. Big rocks are those things that you want to focus on and hammer away at, so that at the end of the day you feel like you have accomplished something. All too often, however, we end up choosing to focus on small rocks. Those trifling items that take up our time, and fill up our basket, so that nothing else fits in.

For this reason, one needs to put in big rocks first, and let the small ones fill in the space between.

So, what's a big rock?

FINDING WHAT YOU VALUE MOST

Most of the time we are running around doing other things for other people. We get lost in the race to please others:  boss, co-workers, family, friends, etc. Some of this is necessary social lubricant (making the wheels go round and round), some of it is forced, and some of it simply does not serve us because many tasks do not line up with our sense of values.

Many have never had to figure out what they value because they have spent so much time pleasing others. But values are the things we need to set for ourselves and stand by. If one is constantly sacrificing their values (themselves really), then he or she will never be happy.

It may be a good time to stop and say that I am not advocating ending altruistic behavior altogether, no, that is not the point. I am saying each person needs to figure out their values -- what they know as truth, what feels good, what is important, and what they can't sacrifice.

MAKING SIMPLE HABITS THAT STICK

Lately, I have really been working to create some better habits in my life. Simple changes that I know will have long term payoffs. But of course making new habits is pretty difficult. We all have a reluctance to change. We get set in our ways.

However that doesn't have to be the case. I recently read a great book called Making Habits, Breaking Habits, by Jeremy Dean, that explained that research studies have proven it takes between 60-66 days for a new habit to really "stick" and become automatic.

In the short run, this means we fail to cultivate really good habits because we fail to make it through the trial period of those 60-ish days. We try things a week or two, and then they drop off our radars because they never became automatic. It is only when habits become automatic that we can really become successful.

FINDING A PLACE OF QUIET

In today's busy times, it is important to cultivate a place of quiet to breathe, think, and reflect. This can create space for the self to create and explore. It can create a time for better understanding of what it is you want in life and what you truly hold important.

However, often we get so busy that we don't seek (or eek) out this time for ourselves. We get busy in our lives, whether through work or home responsibilities, and forget to give ourselves time to breathe. We end up absorbing the noise and chaos of the everyday world, and fail to pick up on the signal of our inner heart; its inner feelings, passions, and desires.

Because of this, it is no surprise that so many end up feeling lost at some point in their lives. Too much noise and static has drowned out a person's inner voice -- the one that passionately and patiently guides one in all of life's endeavors. If you find that voice has gotten quiet, or gone away altogether, you need to seek out some quiet time/space.

CUT THE CLUTTER

With the warmer temperatures of spring finally here, many folks' attention turns to "spring cleaning." For some folks this is looked forward to as a kind of catharsis, while others dread anything that requires them to clean out, organize, or chuck old items.

Like many people, I have a natural tendency to hang on to items for far too long, even items that I know I have not used, or worn in months. Therefore, it is really important for me to keep this hoarding tendency in check, so I make sure I don't end up with piles of unnecessary items and detritus from my past.

I would say that the first few months of the year, especially March and April, are great months to get rid of old items that are not being used. One reason is that you can take stock of the first quarter of the year by looking at items you haven't used in the past 90 days. If you haven't used it/worn it in the past 90 days, or plan to use it/wear it in the next 90 days, it may be time to donate or toss.

TIME IS FINITE

Time is fleeting. It is a limited resource of unknown quantity. No one knows how much time they will have, so it is important to live a purposeful, meaningful life starting now. Too often we miss that point. We think, oh, I'll start living the life the I want or dreamed of someday soon. But, just like Creedence Clearwater Revival says, "Someday never comes."

From the time we are young, we are given empty platitudes on how we live in a world of infinite opportunities and infinite possibilities. In elementary school we are taught that we can be anything we want:  a scientist, an astronaut, a fireman, etc. We are told to follow our passion, heart, dreams, desires. And then one day we wake up to realize that we are living unfulfilled lives or doing dull work. Not what we dreamed of. Magically, we did not become everything we wanted to be, and life did not turn out exactly as planned.

The advice that was given was poor advice, which only lead down dead-end streets of the self. Part of why the aforementioned advice is so bad is that it gets a person out of touch with both time and reality. Life may very well be swelling with an infinite number of possibilities, but there is only a finite amount of time each of us have on earth. If you connect those dots in your mind, automatically you realize that you can't be anything and everything you want. It is in fact an impossibility.

"LITTLE AND OFTEN MAKES MUCH"

A while ago I got a fortune cookie that offered up a sage piece of wisdom. Usually, the "wisdom" of those cookies is only about as good as the taste (pretty bland, or just outright bad). Good things may very well be on the horizon, or those may very well be the winning lotto numbers, but experience has shown me that a cookie cannot divine the future. Suffice it to say, I open each one with a healthy dose of skepticism. However, the cookie I received recently actually had an impact on me because it offered up a tangible, pragmatic piece of advice that I could actually use. It read:

"Little and often makes much."

Now, I had never seen this quote before. Probably its been written on countless motivational posters, or found itself in collections of pity quotes, but this was the first time I encountered it. Immediately, I could see the value and wisdom in it. I wanted to apply that philosophy to my life.